Navigating your 30s. what you need to know…
It can be easy to break your life down into decades and have certain expectations about where you should be and what should happen in them, but the reality is you are where you are and this is ok.
But I’m not ok! (I hear you cry)
I get it. I have been there. I felt a huge pressure to achieve and often compared myself to others and it took some reflection and personal development to discover some realisations. What I realised was, that they were different people and had been on different paths, which had led them to very different outcomes at different times.
And the winner is...whoever finds the connecting theme 😂
It was still hard, but whenever I found myself thinking I should be somewhere else I stopped and told myself ‘you are on your own path’.
I’m still on my own journey of discovery in my early 40s, but what I have found super useful to understand is that we can only make decisions based on the information we have at the time and what we feel is right.
So part of my present is to understand that there may be decisions I made in the past that weren’t right for me or caused some pain, but whatever they are they have led me to the here and now. It’s also given me valuable knowledge about myself and my needs and how I want to use that to inform my decisions moving forwards.
So, if you are feeling unhappy about where your life is going, you are feeling pressure from family/friends or you find yourself comparing yourself to others....take a deep breath and read on.
Because it doesn’t mean you can’t change your path and find inspiration to move forwards in your 30s. Finding your own path irrelevant of what society is telling you should do is the best approach, because the important question is always ‘what do I want?’
Here are some things to consider...
Embrace Change:
It’s a hard one it really is; us humans really struggle with this a lot. It can feel scary and out of control. One of life’s lessons is that change is one of the few inevitabilities in life, so learning to embrace it can reduce stress and help you to learn from experiences along the way. Your 30s can often bring significant shifts in various aspects of life, including career, relationships, and personal growth. Embrace change as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery rather than fearing it and this will be a good foundation for life.
One of the best ways to do this is to think about the following whenever you are faced with a change:
Can I change this?
If yes, take action! Think of practical ways to manage or get support to make the change. What is it about the situation that I really want to change? What would it mean for me to change this?
If not, how can I let this go? Or how can feel at peace with it? Maybe you need to talk it through with someone or maybe you can just make a conscious effort to let it go. This can take effort, but spending some time to explore this can help.
Prioritising Self-Care:
Making self-care a priority is a life long thing not just a 30s thing, so if you haven’t really thought about what that means for you, carving out some space to think about it can be beneficial. No we are not talking about just having a cup of tea or a hot bath; everyone is different. That’s why it might take some exploration to figure out what nourishes your mind, body, and soul. It’s about being mindful in your approach. It’s also about making time for it, yes we are all busy, but making a conscious effort to schedule self-care should be mandatory. Whether it's exercise, meditation, hobbies, spending quality time with loved ones or even getting off that darn phone for an hour a day, start today and see how it feels.
Nurture self-compassion:
There is often confusion about self-compassion. Often people believe it is a selfish act and that it means being ignorant of others feelings, which is not true. I believe self-compassion is a skill to learn and can really help us especially in navigating this crazy world we live in.
By acknowledging our feelings and treating ourselves with kindness, we can cultivate a more compassionate inner dialogue.
reframing negative self-talk into more positive and empowering statements can help foster self-compassion and boost self-esteem.
Financial Planning:
Take control of your finances by creating a budget, paying off debts, and saving for the future. Whether you're buying a home, starting a family, or planning for retirement, smart financial decisions in your 30s can set you up for long-term stability and success.
Cultivating Relationships:
Invest in meaningful relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners. As you navigate your 30s, surround yourself with people who support and inspire you, and let go of toxic relationships that no longer serve you.
Career Exploration:
Use your 30s as a time for career exploration and growth. Whether it's advancing in your current field, transitioning to a new industry, or pursuing further education, be open to new opportunities that align with your passions and values.
Setting Boundaries:
Learn to set boundaries to protect your time, energy, and well-being. Saying no to commitments that drain you and yes to activities that bring you joy and fulfillment is essential for maintaining balance in your life.
Embracing Imperfection:
Let go of the pressure to have it all figured out by your 30s. Embrace imperfection, take risks, and learn from your mistakes along the way. Remember that life is a journey, and it's okay not to have all the answers right now.
Seeking Support:
Don't be afraid to seek support from friends, family, or a professional therapist or life coach if you're feeling overwhelmed or uncertain about your path. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and can provide valuable guidance during this transitional phase of life.
Coaching can be a warm safe space for you to explore what you want from life and help you to focus on how you can get there.
So book a FREE chat with me to see how you can be kinder to yourself through coaching.
